The Varnished Truth

RE: Y2K Anthrax Madness

Geoff P — 10 Jan 2000 00:00:00 GMT

At midnight the French simply threw up their hands and tried to set up a puppet government having lost a third of their territory to German pensioners dancing on the Champs Elysee. "Dis champagne ist gut" I need 2000 rounds of ammunition. This will hasten my ascent (descent?) into bureaucratic obscurity and the three hour lunch. Mostly i just stuffed my face with dairy. They have this thing in the haute savoie called "raclette". They give you a brazier, a plate of reblochon cheese, and stuff to melt it on. Stick a slab under the flame, and pour it directly into the left ventricle. Um....melty...

Re: UN sued for complicity in Rwanda genocide

Geoff P — 12 Jan 2000 00:00:00 GMT

How about suing the Hutus for committing the genocide?

Things that can happen to you...

Geoff P — 20 Jan 2000 00:00:00 GMT

I am working on my paunch so as to become king... AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) - A middle-aged, paunchy, unemployed white man plops down on the sofa to watch TV with his kids. Meet King Togbe Korsi Ferdinand Gakpetor II of Ghana. In Holland, the king is Henk Otte, a Dutch construction worker on welfare. In West Africa, he rules part of the lush Volta Region, home to tens of thousands of Ewes who revere him as Togbe, or king. Otte, 43, is as Dutch as the Dutch come, born and raised in Amsterdam like his parents. He lives in an Amsterdam housing project with his wife and two children, and an ordinary life would have suited him just fine. But during a 1995 visit to the hometown of his Ghanaian-born wife, Mamaa Awo Mepeyo Kpui, Otte was identified as the reincarnation of the late chief, his wife’s grandfather.

News flash

Geoff P — 22 Feb 2000 00:00:00 GMT

Scoop of the decade: (Reuters) Bosnian Serb party influenced by Milosevic - PM BANJA LUKA, Bosnia, Feb 21 (Reuters) - A political party that pulled out of the Bosnian Serb governing coalition at the weekend was prompted to quit by Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic, Prime Minister Milorad Dodik said on Monday. Say it aint so...

The Implicit Dayton annex for Bosnia

Geoff P — 24 Feb 2000 00:00:00 GMT

> You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. > It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear > weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. > --Frank Zappa >

Be All You Can Be

Geoff P — 23 Mar 2000 00:00:00 GMT

Note: This is an transcript of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"

GENERAL REINWALD: We’re going to teach them climbing,canoeing, archery, and shooting."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting&! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?"

GENERAL REINWALD: "I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"

GENERAL REINWALD: "I don’t see how, ....we will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "But you’re equipping them to become violent killers."

GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?" The radio went silent and the interview ended.

Where I will be in one week

Geoff P — 30 Jan 2001 00:00:00 GMT

Leave on Monday the 5th. Looks peaceful but I have to fly into Freetown from Conakry in an Antonov helicopter-the kind that crashed in Mongolia recently (killed nine UN folk) Other problem: Guinea Conakry is having a war with Sierra Leone. Why did I leave Dubrovnik? Oh yeah, needed the adrenaline and all that. Let us not forget the extended drinking sessions, sensibly priced.

UT on Living in Limbo

Geoff P — 10 Mar 2001 00:00:00 GMT

Some of you may remember Eugenie’s story from when I sent it three years ago. Here it is again, today published in the Albany NY Times’ Union, appropriately on International Women’s Day. If any of you have ideas on how we might be able to help Eugenie obtain a student visa, please let me know. We are still hoping for a happy ending

The Usual Suspects

Geoff P — 17 Apr 2001 00:00:00 GMT

Below is a list of some of my favorite local war criminals, and their respective noms de guerre:

1. Sam "Mosquito" BOCKARIUE -- Military Commander, exiled in Liberia by Sankoh in December 1999.

2. Short BAI BUREH (Colonel Doer of the Act) -- Commander of Combat Group in Guinea

3. Koneh BAI’BLTREH (Shining Star) -- Cmdr. 3 Bdge. Ops. in Guinea.

4. Lansana CONTEH (Colonel) -- Cmdr. 2 Bgde. "General" FAYIA.

5. Komba GBUNDEMA, (Col. Monamie) -- Ops. Cmdr. Guinea.

6. Martin GEORGE (Col. MaoMao) -- Cmdr. 1 Bgde.

7. Morie JEIO (Major) -- Acting Chairman, RUFP Mining Ltd.

8. Muhammad KABBAH (Major Master Tourist) -- Signals Commander.

9. Melosky KALLON (Col Ngugumeh) -- Cmdr.7 Bgde.

10. Alfred KARGBO (Col Base Marine) -- Cmdr. 4 Bgde.

11. VICTOR (Lt Col) -- Deputy Chairman, RUFP Mining Ltd.

12. Issa SESSAY (Alias General Emperor) -- Head of RUF.

13. Augustine GBAO (Col. Destiny) -- Head of Internal Security

14. Maurice KALLON (Brig. Spirit) -- Ops. Cmdr. DHQ.

15. Gibril MASAQUOI (Col. Postmaster/Wildfire) -- Spokesman and Head of Media Ops.

16. Dennis MINGO (Brig. Compass/Superman) -- Liberia.

17. Abdul RAZAK (Lt. Col.) -- ex-Chairman, RUFP Mining Ltd.

18. M SOUVLA (Colonel) - Cmdr. 6 Bgde.

WHAT HAPPENED AT MAKENI DDR CAMP

Geoff P — 23 Jul 2001 00:00:00 GMT

I have attached an account of the Revolutionary United Front’s first attack on the UNAMSIL position last May, eventually leading to the evacuation-this was the first breach of the Lome Accord, and resulted in massive hostage taking (last year’s news)

Here Come the Black Helicopters

Geoff P — 01 Aug 2001 00:00:00 GMT

US: Small Town Softens Anti-UN Law

The City Council in La Verkin, Utah, last week softened a draft anti-UN ordinance that would have required residents and businesses with UN affiliations to place notices on their property and file reports with the city. The draft was changed by a narrow vote following warnings from a state official that it violated constitutional rights of free speech, assembly and equal protection. Although the council changed the draft, the town of 3,300 remains a declared " UN-free zone," the Washington Times reports. " The UN is anti-God, anti-family and anti-country. They are against everything La Verkin stands for," said resident Andy Hare at a council meeting last week. " So the UN is anti-La Verkin. La Verkin has the right to be anti-UN"

-- Washington Times, 30 July.

Some Truth Here-But Mostly I Dig The Invective

Geoff P — 21 Sep 2001 00:00:00 GMT

AMERICA-BASHING U.N. SHOULD GET LOST

By ANDREA PEYSER, NY Post

September 21, 2001 -- IT’S time for the United Nations to get the hell out of town. And take with it CNN war slut Christiane Amanpour.

Also, short ABC comedian Bill "those bombers were brave" Maher. More on that in a sec.

The U.N. building towers over the East River like a giant middle finger aimed at our shores.

The once-shiny beacon of peace has devolved into a cancer, where all manner of anti-American lunacy is hatched.

Today, the U.N. functions as an international megaphone through which every Third World dictatorship vents its fury at our way of life.

Though technically not on American soil, the United Nations clogs our city like sewage.

It lustily sucks up our police, our water, our sanitation services while its personnel jam city streets by parking illegally, and break all manner of traffic and criminal law with a get-out-of-jail-free card known as diplomatic immunity.

Now, the United Nations is serving yet another function: It has become the quietest place on earth.

Some Thoughts After The Jordan Trip

Geoff P — 04 Mar 2003 00:00:00 GMT

One way to understand thinking in the Arab world on the eve of an American attack on Iraq is to hang out in a local Amman bar and drink arak until the early morning. You tend to hear unvarnished views and opinions which flow more freely as the evening becomes more convivial.

Re: My Love For the French People

Geoff P — 14 Mar 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Over here we call the French People the "Freedom People"

Baghdad Blogger

Geoff P — 25 Mar 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Website of an Iraqi in Baghdad - the link is found on this site -- the primary link has been down for two days due to, uh, well...

Casualties of War

Tony P — 05 Apr 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Here are some Year-by-Year Casualty Breakdowns for the years of direct U.S. involvement in the Vietnam conflict (1966-1972). When talking about 'Nam, people often forget the intensity of the conflict. The darkest year, 1968, claimed over 15,000 Americans, 200,000 NVA/VC, and almost 29,000 South Vietnamese regulars.

NigerGate: Primary Sources

Tony P — 25 Apr 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Here are some quick and dirty English translations of the most clearly suspect of the forgeries in British Intelligence's "Yellow Cake Dossier" and here are some jpegs of the original documents. Finally, here is a link to the CIA World Factbook: Heads of States and Cabinet Members page for Niger. Even without knowing who was in office, the documents are pretty ludicrous if for no other reason than the fact that Iraq is, was and has been stupid with raw uranium ore. What they were -- at least at one time -- after was the capability to enrich their already super-abundant stockpile of ore.

Notes On Integrity And Journalism

Tony P — 02 Jul 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Recent saturation coverage of the turmoil at the New York Times has reminded us all not only of the fragility of the bond of trust that exists between a newspaper and its readers, but also of just how myopic and staggeringly self-fascinated the news media really is. In addition to the Times' own 14,000 words of navel gazing, a quick search of the database on the phrase "Jayson Blair" returns over 61,200 articles.

Unfortunately, while voluminous much of this commentary hits well wide of the mark.

Yes, it is true that Mr Blair invented a tobacco field behind the West Virginia home of Private Jessica Lynch. There is of course no tobacco field behind the Lynch home. In fact tobacco isn't actually grown much of anywhere in West Virginia (hence its secession from planter dominated Virginia in 1861).

Of course since even 14,000 words later no one else at the Times seems to have picked up on this last fact, it is a little unfair to expect that Mr Blair would have done so under a tight deadline from his apartment in Brooklyn.

The larger point here however, and the one missed by most of the navel-gazers, is that Mr Blair's omissions and inventions were for the most part venal. It is not after all as if he repeated wild and unsubstantiated claims that Private Lynch had been captured in hand-to-hand combat following a valiant last stand in the desert. Nor did he invent a heroic rescue tale more or less from whole cloth.

No. There was no Monkey Fishing in Mr Blair's world: just self-assembling patio furniture and plausible if invented quotes.

Indeed, although Mr Blair's writing contained more than the ocassional error, his correction rate was not in fact substantially higher than the paper's average. Which is to say that although largely plagiarized, Mr Blair's articles were about as genuinely informative as the typical, originally reported news story.

And therein lies the true tragedy of this entire and wildly over-reported ordeal.

The Kucinich Pop Quiz

Tony P — 25 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Before his freakish run for the Democratic nomination, minor 70s politician Dennis Kucinich was best known for: (A) Presiding, as mayor, over the bankruptcy of a large American City; (B) Paying a prostitute with a personal check in the midst of a hotly contested campaign; or (C) Leading what proved to be a fatal crowd surge attempting to gain entrance to a Cincinati Who concert in 1978?

Mo Better Bushes

Tony P — 12 Sep 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Building on the Daily Show's description of Lieberman as the Bush for people who like Bush but wish he were more Jewish, is a list of people who though otherwise indistinguishable from Bush in the eyes of Ralph Nader, in fact differ from the President in at least one electorally significant feature:

Dennis Kucinich: the Bush for people who like Bush but wish he were more conveniently stored.

Richard Gephardt: the Bush for people who like Bush but wish he were more labor friendly and portrayed by Adam West.

Jeb Bush: the Bush for people who like Bush but wish he were still the sitting governor of a large southern state.

Neil Bush: the Bush for people who like Bush but think he was more fun when he was still using.

Al Gore: the Bush for people who like Bush but wish he were more popularly elected.

The Incidents Of Marriage

Tony P — 10 Feb 2004 00:00:00 GMT

A far from exhaustive list of the incidents of marriage in no particular order: (1) Testimonial Disability and Priviledge: A spouse cannnot be compelled to testify against his or her spouse or as to the contents of their private communications; (2) Right of Consortium: Partners to a marriage have a right to the consensual physical affection of their spouse and may recover damages in tort against 3rd parties limiting or injuring this right; (3) Presumption of Paternity as to Children Born to the Marriage: This can be rebutted by demonstrating physical absence of the husband during the necessary window of conception or sterility.

Requiem For Dr. Dean

Tony P — 15 Feb 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Dean's ultimate exit was perhaps not as graceful, or early, as it might have been. But to be fair, the implosion of his front-running campaign was one of the biggest shockers in recent politics. Pantsed pretty much everyone who pays serious attention to these things. In the end, it was a case of growing choices. In 2003, the good doctor was the only candidate in the field actively running a campaign against George Bush. He was the angry man. But he spoke to a very angry base and increasingly dissatisfied middle. Then two things happened. First, the cautious middle (Kerry) finally got the message that never reached Joe "Pocket Bush" Lieberman. Second, and most important, the collected and disused gas of history caught up to Bush: It was no longer just the arrogance and deceptions of the Iraq adventure. It was the jobless recovery, the staggering defecit predictions, the Medicare backlash ...

Greetings and Welcome Mr Nader

Tony P — 27 Feb 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Just as Ralph would have it, I rejoice in Mr Nader's latest self-important candidacy. He is free to run just everyone is free -- and in fact quite likely -- not to vote or even pay attention to him again. In Ralph's mind, this latest foray into un-electoral politics is directed at a seat at the national presidential debates. This ambition is tied, in turn, to a suit Public Citizen is currently pressing in the federal courts to compel the non-partisan debate commission to include non-party candidates polling at something than less than the current 15 percent required in their rules. However, unless the courts act to drop the tipping point to a "handful" of registered voters, I think Ralph is sh*t out of luck. So run, Ralph. Run.

Misguided Populism?

Tony P — 02 Mar 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Flirted with the idea of voting for Edwards, but to be frank, Kerry is closer to right on trade policy. Yes, he signed NAFTA, but last time I checked we weren't losing jobs to Mexico and were in fact doing a fine job of keeping Canadian pulpwood products out of the country. Indeed (pace the pulpwood) within N. America, dollars and pesos have tended to flow to the supplier who can produce the most goods with the smallest as opposed to the cheapest labor force. Productivity pressures eat jobs, but that is a larger structural fact than free trade alone.

China is a massive new monstorously underployed trading block. Along with other Asian trade partners, it has worked hard to float the Dollar and keep its goods cheap as dirt within the the U.S. market while at the same time helping underwrite our national trillion dollar credit card spree.

Is this a problem?

Not if we start finding massive natural gas deposits and rubies under abandoned factories and strip malls. But again, like productivity pressures, that's a bigger structural issues than free trade alone.

Au Revoir M. Aristide

Tony P — 03 Mar 2004 00:00:00 GMT

If not literally deposed, the fact of asylum in the Central African Republic (?) suggests that Aristide was given few choices by the U.S. and France -- I understand he asked to go to Antigua, but they probably feared attack. Unfortunately, the once good father had clearly reached the end of his tether. He was never likely to be a great or even an especially good chief executive, but his chances were exactly none once the occupation ended. And less than none once the funding stopped.

Word is that the Clitonites are acknowledging that we cut and run perhaps a little too quickly. Gee. Yah think so? U.N. and NATO forces are in the Balkans 8 years later and they have had a stable civil society within recent memory. None of which bodes especially well for Iraq.

Haitian government has cycled between populists supported by extortianate (and outright criminal) militias and elitist military dictatorships supported by right wing death squads. While not a Duvalier style pirate, Aristide was, by necessity, in the former camp. And no matter how you cut it, government by street thuggery is government by street thuggery no matter how pious the warload.

Poppa Doc was a public health service physician once, renound for his treatment of the rural poor.

4300 Bad Apples Don't Spoil The Whole Bunch

Tony P — 03 Mar 2004 00:00:00 GMT

More than absolute numbers, the fact that almost 1 in 20 Catholic priests serving since 1950 has been accused of sexual exploitation is a signal that the Church has failed not only its flock but the 96 percent of priests who have decently and faithfully ministered to their congregations during those same years. Not every accusation is true, of course, but if experience shows anything it is that sexual assaults are under rather overreported.

Buyers Regret? Not Yet

Tony P — 03 Mar 2004 00:00:00 GMT

A Democratic candidate to be named later has been named. Let the polling begin

No one is happier than George Bush (unless it's Rove) to see an end to the Democrats' run of free media. Recent polls put Kerry and Bush at close to even. Bush and Rove obviously hope that this is the Administration's low water mark.

The economy -- although not the long term debt outlook -- will likely improve. Iraq will necessarilly get messier. There is blood in the water, and Kerry is a smart, capable and basically decent guy (which earns my vote).

But he is also basically charisma free and packs all of the liabilities of someone who has legislated and lived in public life for three plus decades. That service, by the way, should be a plus, but as George "Gentlman's C" Bush has demonstrated more than once, sometimes no record is the best record of all.

Osama Bin Missing

Tony P — 04 Mar 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Call me madcap, but I can't think that it's good news for our world anti-terror efforts that there are currently over 300 active CIA case officers in Iraq tasked to anti-insurgency efforts. Is America safer now that Saddam Hussein is in custody? Apparently not much.

Exit Poll This

Tony P — 09 April 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Funny that the candidtate who looked so overwhelmingly conservative and mainstream to the Democratic Party faithful looked pretty much like Teddy Kenedy without the fun bits to the rest of the country.

Bush is claiming his mandate -- and why not, he actually won by a bit this time. But the truth is that when a granite faced patrician senator from the second most liberal northeastern state takes 48% of the vote against a War President, the War President should feel a little chastened.

What do the Democrats need to do to win an election? Apparently, find a slightly better candidate.

Faith of My Mothers

Tony P — 22 Jun 2005 00:00:00 GMT

John Danforth's recent NY Times Op-Ed Piece on the role of faith in politics is really one of the more moving slices of discourse I have encountered in some years. It expresses so perfectly the Sermon-on-the-Mount Christian tradition and values with which I was raised -- an Episcopalian like Rev. Danforth as it happens.

I don't picture the Christian center reemerging from its long slumber anytime soon, but it is still lovely to encounter someone speaking so fluently of Christian charity.

Morse Code For Hostages

Tony P — 06 Jul 2005 00:00:00 GMT

With a Geoff headed for a separatist region of Indonesia last April, I wrote an english-to-morse code translator to assist him in case of kidnapping.

The highly useful results can be found Here

The translator is designed to allow potential hostages to render and memorize witty messages to blink while being displayed on video like a soon to be ritually slaughtered zoo animal. For example:

America declared war on Islam and all I got was this stupid beheading

Becomes:

.- -- . .-. .. -.-. .- / -.. . -.-. .-.. .- .-. . -.. / .-- .- .-. / --- -. / .. ... .-.. .- -- / .- -. -.. / .- .-.. .-.. / .. / --. --- - / .-- .- ... / - .... .. ... / ... - ..- .--. .. -.. / -... . .... . .- -.. .. -. --.

I am being beheaded by stupid

Becomes:

.. / .- -- / -... . .. -. --. / -... . .... . .- -.. . -.. / -... -.-- / ... - ..- .--. .. -..

Note that in the convention of the transcription, the spaces between letters are indicated by a pause. The slashes represent word breaks which are indicated by a longer pause.

Note also that because morse code is case insensitive you are really saying:

AMERICA DECLARED WAR ON ISLAM AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID BEHEADING

You are of course free to compose your own custom message. But remember this: You can either go out like a simpering South Korean contract worker, or you can go out like a man.

Designed By Genius, Run By Idiocy

Geoff P — 02 Aug 2005 00:00:00 GMT

The whole intelligent design vs. evolution thing is a false debate isn't it?� Its all about the existence of meaning in the end I think.

Why can't "descent by modification" be subsumed under intelligent design�a simple mechanism to further DNA's original mission: overturning Roe v Wade.

When we get there I promise to bring popcorn.� The only remaining question is whether we end up looking more like Mars or Venus.

Hitchens Watch: Hating On Christopher

Tony P — 15 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

If you really enjoy hating on the formerly readable Christopher Hitchens, this is the place to be: Hitchens Watch.

I do have to wonder whether it is Iraq that has turned Mr. Hitchens into a one note right wing crank or whether he was headed in that direction in any case. Either way, he's there, so go and share the hate that only former fans can feel.

The Bob Novak Hierarchy of Leaks

Tony P — 15 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

I was thinking recently that Judith Miller is a reporter in the same sense that Robert Novak is a reporter: I.e. is a person who more or less accurately transcribes slanders fed to them by well placed defamers.

But then it occurred to me that this is a little unfair to Bob, who in fact has a detailed, if admittedly eclectic, set of rules as to whose leaks he'll print (and more importantly, against whom)

Below is the Robert Novak hierarchy of leakers. The basic rule is that Novak will run smears generated by someone higher up the chain against a lower tier entity, but not vice versa.

So, for example, Bob would print a smear leaked by a career military official against an adminstration or intellegence official but would not repeat a slander by a CIA official against an administration or military representative.

- Career Military Officials

- Charter members of the vast right wing conspiracy

- Dick Chenney's office

- Conservative members of Congress

- The Bush Administration

- The CIA

- Hitler

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

I cannot promise you that Novak has quoted Hitler, but even money says that he has (knowingly or unknowingly) at least paraphrased him at some point in his storied career.

The broader point, however, is that if Hitler leaked dirt on Roosevelt, Novak would almost assuredly run with it (identifying him -- of course -- as a former German parliamentarian).

One Shoe Drops

Tony P — 15 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

So Scooter takes the fall. Some are comparing him to Oliver North. I think John Poindexter is more apt.

Fitzgerald's indictment sets forth a very strong case, and one that relies a lot less on witness credibility than most commentators seem to suggest. The most basic point is that Libby stated on the record to investigators and in his grand jury testimony that he was unaware of (or did not recall) a set of highly relevant facts during during a specific time frame.

The record also shows that Libby had not only been well apprised of these facts prior to the time in question, but had in fact been actively engaged by them.

Charging documents, of course, are wildly one sided affairs, and it is hard to accept that someone as cagey as Mr. Libby appears to be would have boxed himself into this particular corner. Only time will tell.

Conservatives are likely to continure to complain that Fitzgerald charged perjury because he could not prove treason. But Clinton's gonads were appropriately pressed to the coals for his sophism under oath, because come court day, truth is truth and wiggle words have no place. The prosecutor is not your mommy and most certainly not a reporter just happy to get a quote.